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Monday, July 29, 2002
Woman sues Delta, says she was humiliated over sex toy. That vibrating looked suspicious. Be careful when travelling with electric sex toys. Remember, there are still some states where it's illegal to insert that sort of thing in your anus.
Actually, I hope that this receives a lot of media attention and spurs a bunch of weirdos to travel with vibrators everywhere.
If you travel, bring a loud sex toy! Yes, let's make a goddamned campaign out of it! Right here! Right now! Make sure the batteries are good and charged. Turn it on as you check your bag. Fill your suitcase full of them and turn'em all on. Or wave one around shouting at the top of your lungs to all the security personel: "DON'T BE ALARMED! SEE, IT'S JUST A VIBRATOR!!! I KEPT IT WITH ME INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT IN MY LUGGAGE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO FRIGHTEN ANYONE WITH IT! AND, WELL, HELL, IT'S A LONG FLIGHT, Y'KNOW?" The possibilities are endless. Use your imagination.
Send me your story of your escapades while travelling with sex paraphernalia, and win a NGC Comic. Do it, quick, before it loses momentum. The zeitgeist is primed; it must be now! Send a message to The Man! Yeah!
But, why stop at airports?! Show up at government buildings with a briefcase full of vibrators and nipple clamps and cock rings. Accidentally spill the contents on the floor. If there's a politician campaigning in your neighbourhood, make sure a vibrator's in your hand as he shakes it. Lube it up beforehand. Anything, anywhere. The world is your oyster.
Okay, you have your assignment....now, GO!
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