|
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
MAD Magazine's 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2002
firmament.to is one of those whaddayacallits what you type in a url of any page and it turns every single word on that page into a link that takes to to something relating to that word.
The World Wide Rant Question: Who is crazier? The person who posits a known science (genetic engineering) with a statistically possible entity (aliens) as the origin of life - or the one who posits an unknown angry sky god on the basis of a 2000 year old book?
Attack of the clones. Clonaid is willing to relieve the burden of excessive money from people who have too much and would like to clone themselves so that they have more time in which to spend it all. Or something...
I don't think it's a sin or a perversion of nature to clone humans. I even think, hell, sure, figure out how it's done, if that'll make you happy. But, just because you know how to do it, does that mean you should?
There's enough people on the planet without making more of them, never mind copies of some of them.
I look at it the same way I do those in power, whoever is willing to have a copy made of themselves is the one least suited to have a copy made of themself.
If people are worried about corporations creating humans that they own...instead of making cloning illegal, which Bush is trying to get everyone to do, create laws that strictly state that clones immediately are granted citizenship in whatever country they're created in. That way, if you're cloning a dead child, which may or may not be a justifiable goal, you'll go right ahead, but, if you're creating a clone army for interstellar conquest, you still have to pay them human wages...
Happy New Year and all that. As 2002 draws to a close, revisit the past 12 months in the Nihilist Glee Club Best and Worst of 2002 Polling Booth, an annual tradition.
And, since the 2001 one is gone, here are the final results...The Best and worst of 2001 as chosen by you...Or someone who looks like you...
Best Album : Acid Mothers Temple - New Geocentric World
Worst Album : Britney Spears - Britney
Best Film : Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back tied with Mulholland Drive
Most disappointing Film : Along Came a Spider
Worst Film : Freddy Got Fingered tied with Pearl Harbour
Best NGC Comic : Jangled Nerves
Most Tragic Event: Douglas Adams died tied with terrorist attack on US and Winona Ryder arrested for shoplifting.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Junior Shrub celebrated Christmas by cooking and eating some of the country's jobless and
dividing up their belongings at a fund raising dinner for the country's rich, who all cackled loudly and demanded more money for the privilage of being rich.
But, since George had been visited by three ghosts the night before, resulting in some soul searching (on a minor scale...the ghost of christmas past showed him a scene from his drug and alcohol addled days which due to the stupor he was in, he could not verify was true or not...the present was some guy watching CNN and Fox in a souless, comatose state....and the ghost of the future showed a police state in control of the world's oil, the entire Bush Administration bathing in a hot tub filled with money, blood and oil and when it came to the part where it showed his funeral, everyone in the country cried because the satellite that sent signals to the implants in their brains programmed them to...so, he wasn't all that shocked or disturbed by what the poltergeists revealed), but still, he felt like giving a gift to the world, which will be a new war against North Korea, which will proove to be much more exciting and suspenseful than any war against Iraq.
The Origin of Christmas. It was a pagan holiday usurped by the Catholic Church in their quest to assimilate large portions of the population which was later usurped by western capitalism in its quest to assimilate large portions of the population. Now, it's a day that jolts the economy briefly and sets it up for a three-four month slump and over which Christians argue with mayors about the inclusiveness of public seasonal decorations, lamenting over the fact that the original meaning behind the day is lost in the aggressively commercial aspects, by which they mean the meaning that was decreed by the church, not the real original meaning, which was one of those pagan weather related rituals, which were mostly all about hoping that they survived until the next year...
In the spirit of Christmas, it's the Michael Jackson Baby Drop Game...
...er, well, it's in the spirit of the season in that some people probably got some video games as gifts...you know...
Monday, December 23, 2002
The World Trade Center Collapse: Was it a controlled collapse? Did someone set it up to fall on the inside? If not, why didn't it topple over and destroy lots of other property? If it was an inside job, who's responsible? And why did Bush continue sitting in that damned classroom while all this was going on? And, who's going to head the cover-up....er, I mean, investigation?
Joe Strummer is dead. Jesus...he was 50...
Re: post below... What was removed apparently, was mostly reference to American government and corporations that sold weapons material to Iraq. Bush, understandably, has an aversion to embarrassing situations...
"Material breach" in Iraq document actually the result of US censoring. The Americans passed out the controversial Iraq dossier on weapons to members of the UN security council. Unfortunately, they'd removed 8000 pages of it. Nowhere will you find an example of treachery and villany more extravegant than in the Bush White House.
Ben and J-Lo wedding off. Matt Damon had a talk with Ben Affleck. He pointed out that Lopez has had two failed marriages and maybe he's better suited to someone with more substance. And, Affleck's a guy who knows deep down that your best friend always has your back and will force you to recognize the shit that you may not want to see.
Of course, I'm assuming this based on Kevin Smith's movies. And on Lopez's recent appearance on Letterman, where she appeared to be incredibly, unbelievably vaccuous. And, whatever Ben's shortcomings as an actor, he does seem to be a person of some substance.
I think he's caught up in something he'll eventually regret and may make him very bitter. Which may help him as an actor.
And while I'm on the subject, I saw the newest Daredevil trailor, and it looks like a fabulous flick. But, I hate the costume. DD should not, in any way, resemble an S&M freak, except perhaps mentally. DD was always a bit of a masochist, but it was so deeply submerged in his psyche that dressing in bondage leather would never, ever enter his mind. Spiderman worked, didn't it? DD should be in red spandex, dammit!
And Jennifer Lopez had better not be within a hundred miles of the film...!
Bush Administration to Propose System for Monitoring Internet. In effect, if you are reading this, eventually. you may be put on a list. I come to this conclusion from the fact that nihilistgleeclub.com is deemed a danger to websurfers by someone in the Chinese government. This site is inaccessable to surfers in China. And, really, in terms of paranoia and fear of independent thought, how much different are the Bush administration and the Chinese government?
Yet another excuse for Airport security staff to feel up passengers...Nipple piercings that set off metal detectors. Whether it's a suspicious pregnancy or a nipple piercing, airport security can find excuses to rent-a-cop a feel...
Sunday, December 22, 2002
Coffee, Tea, or Should We Feel Your Pregnant Wife’s Breasts Before Throwing You in a Cell at the Airport and Then Lying About Why We Put You There? A couple at Portland Airport were put through the wringer by overzealous security personel. Apparently, they throught the pregnant woman may have been concealing weapons in her stomach or something and ordered her to lift up her dress and show her stomach. When her husband objected, police arrested him and concocted some bullshit story about how abusive he'd become and he was made to pay a fine.
In the spirit of the months ago campaign I suggested regarding the tale of a woman who's vibrator caused such a panic amongst airport security personel, where I urged travellers to wave sex toys at security inspections, declaring them harmless, I'm now urging any pregnant women travelling to be brave, go in a bikini, bare-bellied, with words to the effect of "THIS IS A BABY, NOT A BOMB!" on your belly.
Send me your story and win a NGC comic.
Controversial Virgin Mary film defended. A BBC documentary film-maker has followed up on suggestions from the Nihilist Glee Club comic, Jangled Nerves, that the Virgin Mary was raped. Bishops are reacting the way Bishops usually react when Christian mythology is questioned.
But, seriously, the program presents a version of the divine conception from a 2nd century historian who suggests that Mary was raped by a Roman soldier, but mentions that it may have been an early attempt to tarnish the Christian Church before it became the all powerful conquering mass of sexual frustration that we see in history and even today. As if sudden acknowledgement by the Church that Jesus may have been concieved during sexual intercourse would result in spontaneous ejaculation of every priest, bishop and pontiff who has repressed himself for their faith.
The documentary also contends that Mary probably didn't have blue eyes or wear expensive robes. Nor bleed from her eyes nor go around with a glowing heart flashing from her chest. Several bishops have initiated a letter-writing campaign at the BBC threatening more letter-writing.
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
Drunken rampaging elephants kill six people. They've developed a taste for local rice beer and liquor and will do anything to get it. "It was worse than the late night parties at the Bush Exploratory committee!" said a witness.
Infiltration...The zine about going places you're no supposed to go.
Why the HELL do we exist?
Evil Genius Hoaxes
World Subjectrights Day. Christmas Eve at noon, people all around the world shoot back. The idea is to use film or video cameras to make a record of the premises and people who routinely film and record us in public places.
Bush's New Tax Plan: Make the poor pay more. "The rich pay too much," said Bush, giggling as he rolled in a pile of money and cocaine.
Sunday, December 15, 2002
The New World Order Survival Guide
20 Reasons Not to Take Smallpox Vaccine
Saturday, December 14, 2002
Bush Seeks Replacement for 9 / 11 Panel. Kissinger stepped down from the investigation, citing conflict of interests. Perhaps Bush will next ask Ollie North...
George Bush's policies help ACLU. Since Junior started his attack on privacy and freedom, the American Civil Liberties Union has seen their membership numbers soar.
Google Press Center: 2002 Year-End Zeitgeist. What you all searched for and how much and when.
Premier's friend under the gun. Ernie's good pal Hugh Mackenzie is getting criticism for helping decide government policy that helps his companies and makes him a shitload of money, as a consultant. His consulting firms were paid $4.3 million by the Ontario government, mostly to help cut costs of education and welfare. That's social welfare, of course, not corporate welfare. He also lobbys for the hydro privitization gang, owning an energy company, and was Eves' main strategy guy during his leadership campaign. This may seem like incest or at least a conflict of interest, but under Ontario law, it's perfectly legal.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Racism and the G.O.P.. Senate majority leader Lott is a racist. Everyone is shocked, except people who realize that this is what the Republicans are all about. Not publicly, of course, or at least not all the time. But every once in a while, one of them slips up and says what they believe. Then, it's treated as some bizarre aberration, when in fact, it's the rule. The person just apologizes for saying what they said by stating that they didn't really mean to say it, and life goes on. We're not really racist, vote for us because the Democrats are soft on crime and will raise taxes.
Paul Martin's blog. There's only one entry, so far...But, he wants to mention stuff that "the media miss". Maybe he'll eventually become so addicted to blogging that he doesn't go out anymore...
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Kyoto protocol ratified, almost. Parliuament voted in favour of it. And received much whining from the oil lobby and their politicians in the Nazi Alliance Party and the Tories, because that's what they do. When people who make a living from rape and pillaging are requested or especially required to reduce the amount they rape and pillage, they bitch about how they must limitlessly plunder the soul of the planet to create jobs for the proles. Perhaps they have shares in oxygen tent manufacturers. Doesn't the smog make the sunset a more vivid colour?
Carter warns against 'catastrophic' war in his Nobel prize acceptance speech. But he tiptoed around criticising Bush, so big deal, really...
Saturday, December 07, 2002
Tales of the Smear. Stories of people who have shat themselves.
U.S. Is Pressuring Inspectors in Iraq to Aid Defections, is the nice polite way of saying that Junior wants the weapons inspectors to abduct Iraqi scientists and spirit them back to the US of A for interogation. Which supports Iraq claims that the inspectors are just part of the pre-war spy operation, but they have to cooporate with them or be bombed to shit some more.
Iraqi president apologizes to Kuwaitis for his invasion of 1990, although, it won't be seen as an apology since he didn't grovel enough to please Bushites. He also explained his reasons for invading, which is also a no-no. It's important to remember that enemies of the United States do not have justification for their actions! No matter what they say. Their motivation is simply evil and villany. Just as the US's motivation is justice and democracy, not oil, money or power lust.
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
Gateway effect of marijuana doubted. Research suggests that the theory long held by fascists in the White House and elsewhere that pot leads to crack or cocaine is a crock of shit. Bush will dismiss the report, because that's what he does with things that don't fit into his worldview.
U.N. Weapons Team Inspects First Iraqi Presidential Palace in New Round of Searches. They haven't found anything yet. But George isn't satisfied. He's itchin' for a war and even though the inspectors may say that everything is kosher, the White House war hawks will say that it only means Iraq is hiding stuff. So, they'll still attack. Only blood will satisfy Bush and gang.
Monday, December 02, 2002
Aryan UFOs and Antarctic Bases. Underground Nazi city researches flying saucer technology and genetic engineering...
T.I.A. Paranoia is exciting.
Sunday, December 01, 2002
get your Kissinger on
Kissinger's Unfit Past. Bush, in choosing Henry to head the investigation, may just as well admitted to some kind of guilt. Kissinger has a history of covering up American atrocities and providing "research" that presidents want to hear. In other words, the investigation will be totally bogus.
Extra terrestrial microorganisms present in atmosphere. Alien invasion has begun. Although, what their intentions are hasn't yet been determined. Or, even if they have intentions...
|
|
