|
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Bush visits Nazi death camps on a fact finding mission to see how to build one. "Aggression and evil intent must not be ignored or appeased. They must be opposed early and decisively," he said, not talking about himself, but rather about the vast global conspiracy of terrorists. He also wants to mend rifts between his America and their traditional allies so that they may aid Junior in his next conquest, be it Iran, Syria or any other "rogue state" with oil.
Friday, May 30, 2003
America's Most Wanted: War Profiteer Cards. A brilliant answer to the Iraq's most wanted deck.
US 9/11 propaganda film made with Canadian taxpayers' cash. A movie being filmed in Toronto will portray Junior as a decisive and heroic leader issuing orders and stirring speaches left, right and center...or at least right, anyway...
But, since it's filmed here, it qualifies for a bunch of tax credit incentives for the movie industry. The US is so broke it can't even pay for its own propaganda.
Iraqi mobile terror labs have shown no sign of biological agents. Bush's excuse for war is still a fiction.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Special announcement...tonight Nihilist Glee Club Presents Nasty Buggers will be available at the Staircase Cafe Theatre for purchase. It's finally printed. So, go get it. It will be available at all the other locations soon.
Saddam 'may have destroyed weapons', like they claimed they did before the US laid further waste to the country, Donny admitted today. Rumsfeld said that they may find weapons of mass destruction if they went looking in Iran, instead. Iran has denied that they have a nuclear weapon program, which is a sure way to get the US convinced that you have them. As evidenced by North Korea, if you admit to having them, America won't invade you, because you have nuclear weapons. But, if you deny having them, they will invade, because either you may have them, or you may not, in which case, you're no threat and they can invade with relative safety...especially if you have any oil. Or something like that is what constitutes American foreign policy these days....
Iran's leaders are pissed at having been chosen as the next victims of American aggression and global conquest. Unnamed Washington sources said the administration is looking into escuses for invading Iran, but also implied that Bush may not bother with one this time around. "If the President doesn't give a reason for starting a war, then no one can poke any holes in it. It's just much simpler."
God of the Month Club
Each month you will receive complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices should be sent to our Board of Directors.)
DeathWish Wizard v.1.0
Chaos still reigns in US occupied Iraq as 2 more US troops killed. 7 in all since the end of hostilities, a euphamism Junior used which means "we've stopped bombing the living hell out of the country". The occupiers have demanded that all Iraqi citizens disarm by June 15th or feel the full wrath of the Christian god. Said Rumsfield or someone: "You thought you were living in a military dictatorship? We'll show you what that really means."
Ottawa unveils new pot law...later this year...no criminal record, just a ticket and a fine. Why not just sell the shit?...the government grown medical weed is primo. So, just cut out the ticket and cop middle man and sell it at convenience stores. Tax it instead of fine it. There will be no more disfunctional potheads than there are currently disfunctional alcoholics. Probably less, because one can function quite well on pot.
Monday, May 26, 2003
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
Like the mayor of Amity in Jaws, Mel Lastman considers pulling the "Come to T.O...it's safe..." advertisements intended to be shown on US television next week after 3 more SARS deaths and a dozen new cases have cropped up this week after the WHO lifted their travel advisory to placate whining and bitching Canadian personalities. Meanwhile, Chretien and various other political leaders are eating Chinese food and beef for public relations.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
The Damned NGC Guestbook is now real and hosted here, as opposed to at Bravenet with their pop ups and banners. So, alla you fine folks who signed the old one, feel free to sign the new one. Yes.
Yo, there's another sale on in the Nihilist Glee Club Store, just click on that coupon below...I just finished filling all the pages with all the products. So, go crazy.
The Gender Test! In case you can't tell...
SARS, West Nile and now Mad cow returns. Just when you thought it was safe to slaughter and eat bovines.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Inflatable Church
Thursday, May 15, 2003
How to Report Atheists to the FBI.
Chrétien has shingles.
Monday, May 12, 2003
Bush plans to visit tornado victims to let them know that God really was and still is on his side, even though He's reached down and tossed around a bunch of Americans and their homes.
A hung jury ends the trial of three anti-poverty activists who were accused of inciting a riot.
Everyone knows that it's cops who incite riots...
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Soldier is "more mature" after killing 10 year old kid.
Junior's military "sevice" career.
U.S. defends plan to occupy Iraq. "We're building an empire here, goddamn it," said Rumsfield. "You don't do that by giving a country back once you've got it."
Brian Mulroney told a group of amused Americans that if he was still Prime Minister of Canada, not only would he have rushed over to kiss Bush's ass, but he'd also clean out his anus with his tongue. "And fuck the Ruskies and the Chinks and the Krauts," the former Prime Minister concluded.
Powell tells Palestines to disarm if they want peace. Israel can keeps their tanks and bombs and whatnot.
Bush Administration Blocking Release Of 9/11 Report, for concerns over National Security, naturally.
"Son for sale" ad placed on Internet. "Hyperactive kid for sale, good at vacuuming, not great at washing dishes because he's too short. Guaranteed to annoy. Five pounds or nearest offer." Police were alerted.
A Portland community services department is looking for a Klingon interpreter to help mental health patients...
World's smallest seahorse discovered. It wasn't just a baby seahorse...it was a whole new species, yo.
Dionne Warwick's Cosmic Peephole
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
A Bushspeak Primer.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
As if decriminalizing pot, privacy and civil liberty laws and opposing the US invasion weren't enough, now Canada has the second largest oil reserves in the world, ahead of Iraq, after taking into account Alberta oil sands previously considered too expensive to develop. Will Junior shine his beady little eyes our way now? Will we be liberated next?
Monday, May 05, 2003
Those wacky defenders of liberty and democracy, the US of A, issued a report criticising Canada for granting too many privacy and civil liberty protections to its citizens to be much use in the fight against encroaching international terrorism. Also, if marijuana is decriminalized as the federal government has promised, the US may invade in a Panama-style operation, which of course means that they'll declare Chretien a drug-lord, invade, bomb the federal NDP headquarters and then blast Motley Crue or something at the Parlement buildings.
War, disease, famine, death and a third Grease film planned, which will follow the children of John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John through the disco era...
Saturday, May 03, 2003
New Hampshire's 'Old Man of the Mountain' has fallen. Some rocks which vaguely resembled a man's profile and was made into some desperate state landmark has slid off their mountain perch. Sorry...slow news day?
|
|
