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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Zombies descend upon American Idol: " 'Braaaaaaains!' the zombies said. Nick Muntean, a UT radio-television-film graduate student who organized and participated in the zombie horde, added, 'Television rots your braaaaaaains!' The pop-star wannabes were largely unimpressed. 'I don't get it,' said Jacob Gandia, a singer..." rejected apparantly for being too stupid even by American Idol standards...
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Christian Extremist Pat Robertson Demands U.S. Murder Venezuela's Leader, because one of the beliefs of his death cult is that oil is more sacred than life.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Many reasons that the BushCo group gave for the war in Iraq have proven invalid, so, now Junior says the reason for staying the course is the memories of all the soldiers who've been killed so far...oh, and also 9/11, which Iraq may have had nothing to do with, but mentioning it still gets some Americans bloodlust up...
Monday, August 15, 2005
Shotgun Blast Jars Bush Protesters: "Mattlage insisted he was shooting at birds. But he said the activists had worn out their welcome, and he wanted them to go away. 'I done made my case. It's over,' he said as he shooed away a reporter from the gated entrance to his ranch."
Thursday, August 11, 2005
9/11 panel asks if Pentagon withheld suspect warning. More than a year before 9/11, US intelligence had identified Mohamed Atta as a terrorist threat living in the US, but for some reason nothing was done. Rumsfeld says he knows nothing about it but is looking into it. Or at least into how the information was leaked...
Here's a various videos of Bob Novak's prelude to a nervous breakdown which resulted in CNN giving the shrivelled mutant a time out so he can regroup and try to stabilize.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Compound ineptitude: "Any hustler knows it: Put on a show of clumsiness, fool the mark into underestimating your ability, then come back for the kill. Any landlord knows it: Tenants will give up trying to get a problem addressed if you are too stubbornly thick to ever grasp what it is. Staying stupid means never having to say no."
Monday, August 08, 2005
Soldier's mom protests near Bush's ranch: "She said she decided to come to Crawford a few days ago after Bush said that fallen U.S. troops had died for a noble cause and that the mission must be completed.'I want to ask the president, `Why did you kill my son? What did my son die for?' she said, her voice cracking with emotion. 'Last week, you said my son died for a noble cause' and I want to ask him what that noble cause is?'" She wants to speak with Junior, but fat chance of that happening. Instead, she got some underlings who said that Georgie here's this type of thing all the time and is getting sick of it. They said to her, "Ask not why your son died, but rather why you don't have another son to donate to the war effort...er, I mean struggle against extremism..."
Cults- A Handy Reference Guide: In order to assist you in defending the Bible, we believe it is important for you to at least understand in the simplest of terms what in tarnation all these false religions are going on about.
Friday, August 05, 2005
US military to increase domestic surveillance, and they'll be watching anyone who opposes Bush policies.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
White House Denies Existence Of Karl Rove
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Canadian pot activist, wanted by U.S., gets bail, after a BC judge rejected a US request that he be held without bail.
a French airbus crashed at Toronto Pearson Airport today. This in itself isn't particularily noteworthy. What got me was all the Canadian networks that pre-empted regular programming to provide coverage, like they were hoping it was a terrorist attack or something. They interviewed various witnesses and officials who spoke of an investigation to determine how to ensure that a crash like this will never happen again. I know how to do that... STOP FLYING! That's the only way. When you send a thousand pound of metal flying through the air, occasionally, one of them is going to drop out of it.
I also don't require a Global anchor to explain where black smoke comes from, for fuckssake...
This makes some sort of sense...that vacant, sickly, gushing and perpetually grinning host of Canadian Idol and "correspondant" for the equally insipid E-Talk Daily, Ben Mulroney is the spawn of former Prime Minister and Reagan buttboy Brian Mulroney...you see it now, don't you?
Oh, and Ben says he doesn't care about people who think Canadian Idol represents the death of culture. He says he does the show for the 2.1 million kids he hopes to see lobotomized due to excessive viewing of inane prattle and mediocre renditions of songs that were maybe actually about something before they were born.
Ben also thinks that his fame has nothing to do with his family connections, even though he was discovered by evil CTV executives while being interviewed at a Tory convention. "It's all talent, baby," said Mulroney, while rolling his tongue, leering and grabbing his groin in a meaningful way...
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